Currently Listening

Infertility and Feeling Jealous

What do we do with our feelings of jealousy during Infertility? Do we try not to feel jealous? is that even something someone can do? How do we manage the deep pain of wanting what others have? How do we cope with the unfairness of it all?!


At the center of these questions is a larger question… What does it mean to feel jealous? Perhaps, if you are feeling brave, a scary second question would be… Is it wrong to feel jealous?

At some level feeling jealous during infertility is unavoidable. The unfair nature of this predicament is that those struggling to conceive have to watch others get what they want most in the world. It’s undeniably unfair. Maybe you could make some larger idea that the world is unfair, or that “some people just don’t get pregnant, no one was promised pregnancy.”

I get it, and honestly, that type of thinking makes so much sense to me when we are talking about the smaller realities of living. Not everyone is promised all good things all the time. We will struggle throughout life. I think at some level we all know that.

However, the ability to have a child seems to be something foundational in me, not just a reality I was (fingers crossed) hoping for. To struggle with fertility shakes the very foundation of the way I view the world. It feels truly unjust, and I think that’s because it is.

The jealousy that we feel during infertility is not a flimsy, “OMG ugh, that’s not fair, I want that” kind of jealousy. It’s a deeper, more virtuous righteous indignation about the way the world should be. We should be angry that 1 in 6 couples in our country struggle to get pregnant. We should feel jealous when we look at others so easily getting pregnant.

Our jealousy is a reaction to the deeply unfair reality of infertility.

Jealousy is not the issue, you will feel jealous. However, what we DO with the jealousy is important. Will we let the jealousy turn into isolation and anger? Or will we use jealousy as energy, moving us toward connection, healing, and health?


Join Jesse and Doug as they talk all about Infertility and Feeling Jealous.



Uniquely Knitted is a Non-Profit Organization providing affordable mental health care for the infertility community.

Follow Uniquely Knitted on Instagram, and TikTok.

Learn more about our unique process groups at


Coming Soon